A Thousand Splendid Suns (pg. 257-301)

Notes:

* The day of their escape arrives, and they leave in a taxi. In order to get train tickets, the women must find a man to pose as a family member because women legally cannot travel alone. Once in Pakistan they have to find a way across the border, which has been closed to Afghanis due to the vast numbers of refugees fleeing the country. A visa is required, and the women don't have one.

• In April of 1992 the Mujahideen took over, and with the change in power came a tightening over the rights of women. Much of the freedom they had under Soviet rule was revoked (laws based on the Shari'a). ex. women required to cover, cannot travel without a male relative, adultery punishable by stoning
• The man that they chose to help them betrays them, and they are taken to the police station where they are questioned. Laila begs for him to let them go, but the officer refuses and says it is his duty to maintain order and abide by the law. (It is illegal for a woman to run away from her husband, and is punishable by imprisonment)
• The women are taken home by the police.

* Rasheed is furious when the women are returned. He punches Laila in the abdomen, drags her to the room by her hair, kicks her, and locks her in the room. He proceeds to severely beat Mariam as well. After her beating, he takes Mariam to the tool shed and locks her in. After which, he proceeds to board up the window of the room Laila is in.

• Splits the two women up and isolates them in a dark room. Deprives them (including the baby) of food and water. --> examples of Rasheed's extreme cruelty.
• "The dark was total, impenetrable and constant, without layer or texture. Rasheed had filled the cracks between boards with something, put a large and immovable object at the foot of the door so no light came from under it." (269)
• "They would die here, of that Laila was sure now, but what she really dreaded was that she would outlast Aziza, who was young and brittle. [...] Aziza would die in this heat, and Laila would have to lie beside her stiffening little body and wait for her own death." (271)
• Even when close to death, and in one of the worst situations possible, Laila thinks of her child before herself.
• Rasheed: "You try this again and I will find you. I swear on the Prophet's name that I will find you. And, when I do, there isn't a court in this godforsaken country that will hold me accountable for what I do. To Mariam first, then to her, and you last. I'll make you watch." (272)

* Note: it is now September 1996

* Celebration of the victory of the Taliban in Afghanistan.

• "At least the Taliban are pure and incorruptible. At least they're decent Muslim boys. Walla, when they come, they will clean up this place. They'll bring peace and order. People won't get shot anymore going out for milk. No more rockets! Think of it!" (274)
• With the emergence of every new rebel group and opposition, comes new hope for the country. With the changing of every source of power, comes a new feeling of disillusionment.

New laws enforced by Taliban (277): women will stay inside their homes at all times, a female must be accompanied by a male if she goes outside, women cannot show their faces, women will always wear a burqa outside, makeup is forbidden, jewelry is forbidden, women will not speak unless spoken to first, women cannot laugh in public, girls cannot attend school, women cannot work, adulterers (women) will be stoned to death

• Even more oppressive than the previous regime. Women basically have no rights under the Taliban. Those you have jobs, and seats in the government, are confined to the house and stripped of their lives.
• "Mariam heard the answer in his laugh: that in the eyes of the Taliban, being a communist and the leader of the dreaded KHAD made Najibullah only slightly more contemptible than a woman." (279)

* The punishments for breaking the new laws took place on Fridays at the Ghazi stadium for people to watch. (executions, removal of hands and feet, etc.)

* Laila becomes pregnant again, although she feels much different about it this time.

• "What a terrible thing it was, Laila thought now, for a mother to fear that she could not summon love for her own child. What an unnatural thing. And yet she had to wonder, as she lay on the floor, her sweaty hands poised to guide the spoke, if indeed she could ever love Rasheed's child as she had Tariq's." (283)
• Her hatred is so strong for Rasheed, that she almost aborts the baby. However, in the end she does not do it because she cannot bring herself to end the life of an innocent.

* Note: it is now September 1997

* Women and men can no longer go the same hospitals, and the one set aside for women is very poorly accommodated and not sanitary at all. It is literally a fight to be seen as well. Women claw their way to the front in order to be seen. (287)

* "Mariam saw now the sacrifices a mother made. Decency was but one. She thought ruefully of Nana, of the sacrifices that she too had made. Nana, who could have given her away, or tossed her in a ditch somewhere and run. But she hadn't. Instead, Nana had endured the shame of bearing a harami..." (287)

• Having Laila and Aziza in her life has changed Mariam's outlook on the past. She understands what it feels like to be a mother, after all she is in many ways a mother figure for both Aziza and Laila. She also is more understanding and appreciative of her own mother and the sacrifices she had made for Mariam.

* Laila is told that she needs to have a caesarian, and that due to restrictions put in place by the Taliban, it would have to be done with anesthetic.

• Taliban have given all the money and drugs to male hospitals, and women are left with nothing.

* Note: It is now Fall 1999

* Laila had given birth to a little boy, who Rasheed named Zalmai. Her fears about not being able to love a child of Rasheed were unfounded, and she loves the child very much. Nobody dotes on the child as much as Rasheed does though.

• Rasheed treats Zalmai extremely differently than Aziza, and buys him too much stuff despite the lack of sufficient funds. Dichotomy between how men and women are treated, even at the age of infancy.

* Aziza is now six, and has become a "calm, pensive little girl" (297). Her hair is the same blond as her mother's. She has also taken on a matronly role and does many of the things required to take care of Zalmai.

* Rasheed informs Laila that Aziza will have to start begging on the streets in order to bring in more income (even though he has just bought a TV for the two year old Zalmai). Laila refuses, but Rasheed does not give any heed to her objections.

• Laila proceeds to punch Rasheed (for the first time) --> she is still strong willed and relatively "untamed" despite all of the oppression she has endured. She will also do anything for the sake of her child, and will not allow either to be hurt or put in the way of danger. Sometimes, this being an example of such an occasion, Laila acts without thinking.
• Rasheed proceeds to go get his gun, slam her against the wall, and place the barrel of the gun in her mouth.

Overview/Observations:

Much time passes during this section. The Taliban have come into power, restricting women's rights to the point that they really no longer have any. Although this change is troublesome to Laila and Mariam, it does not have a large effect on them since Rasheed had already basically implemented the same rules in his house long ago. Mariam and Laila's failed escape attempt did not help their position or freedom in the home either.

The only female character that goes through much development in this section is Aziza, and little is said about it. She seems to have taken on a matronly role quite naturally. Nothing is said about how she thinks of Rasheed, but she seems to avoid him as much as he avoids her. There is very little interaction between the two. However, the bond between her and Maraim has grown, and Mariam has very much become a mother figure for her as well. In a way, Mariam is also a mother figure, as well as a companion, to Laila too. The experience that they go through after their escape attempt only serves to strengthen their bond.

Laila continues to be the strong and courageous woman she has always been. She does not hesitate to have the caesarian without anesthetic. As always, she continues to put the well-being of her children above her own. The only time that she seems to lose control is when they are threatened in some way or another. This would explain why she punches Rasheed in the first place. Although she will not stand up for herself, she will do what she feels is necessary to protect Aziza and Zalmai.

Again, the women, despite their unorthodox ways, continue to be portrayed in a positive way, while Rasheed and the oppressive male figures are portrayed negatively. The way in which they are treated makes the reader feel pity and remorse for the women, and in turn hate Rasheed and the Taliban. Times are hard, especially for women, but Mariam and Laila endure.

A Thousand Splendid Suns (pg.199-256)

Characters:

1. Abdul Sharif: thin, small headed man, bulbous nose (204), brown hair, pock marks, owns men's clothing stores, had blood poisoning, speaks well of his wife, Tariq's bed-neighbor in the hospital

Vocab:

1. Dehati (222): a village girl (negative connotation implying that Mariam is stupid and savage because she grew up in the country rather than in the city)

Notes:

* Mariam and Rasheed take care of Laila. Rasheed pays for pink pills from the hospital that are supposed to help her get better and Mariam nurses her back to health. Laila mostly sleeps (although agitated sleep) for the first few weeks. Rasheed had found her in the rubble and dug her out. He had also "saved" some of her father's books.

* Laila suffers from periods of withdrawal and collapsing. Although she is physically recovering, she obviously still suffers from severe psychological damage and from hearing damage in her left ear.

• "But then some memory would rise, unbidden, and there would be stony silences or spells of churliness. Withdrawals and collapses. Wan looks. Nightmares and sudden attacks of grief. Retching." (202)
• Laila: "I shouldn't even be here. My father wanted to take out the boxes. The books. He said they were too heavy for me. But I wouldn't let him. I was so eager. I should have been the one inside the house when it happened." (202)
• feelings of guilt and regret, like she was to blame for her father's death and could have prevented it.
• Mariam and Laila have the feeling of guilt over the loss of their parents in common. Both feel responsibility for what happened and their deaths. Mariam can relate to her feeling of pain and guilt in a way.

* A man, Abdul Sharif, comes to visit Laila and tells her that he had been admitted to a hospital and had met Tariq there. He tells her that Tariq had been in an ambush three weeks before he had met him, and was one of the only 3 survivors.

• Tariq had been burned badly, had his other leg amputated and had many other internal injuries. Very serious.
• Abdul tells Laila that they spoke a lot, and Tariq spoke mostly of her. Made Abdul promise to find Laila when he went to Kabul and to tell her that he loves her and misses her.
• Abdul informs her that Tariq ended up dying in the hospital.
• "Laila wasn't listening anymore. She was remembering the day the man from Panjshir had come to deliver the news of Ahmad's and Noor's deaths. She remembered Babi, white-faced, slumping on the couch, and Mammy, her hand flying to her mouth when she heard. Laila had watched Mammy come undone that day and it had scared her, but she hadn't felt any true sorrow. [...] Was this her penalty, then, her punishment for being aloof to her own mother's suffering?" (210)
• Laila again blames this suffering on herself and feels as if she is being punished for her past actions. Unlike her mother, she does not wail or cry, but recedes deep into her mind and finds a place of safety and happiness. She suppresses her emotions and thoughts about has happened.

* Mariam feels a kind of jealousy towards Laila because Rasheed treats her much better and goes out of his way to come off as a gentleman for her.

• He acts interested in her opinion and thoughts, while he tells Mariam to shut up.
• "It wasn't so much what he said, the blatant lies, the contrived empathy, or even the fact that he had not raised a hand to her, Mariam, since he had dug the girl out from under those bricks. It was the staged delivery. Like a performance. An attempt on his part, both sly and pathetic, to impress. To charm. And suddenly Mariam knew her suspicions were right [...] what she was witnessing was nothing less than a courtship." (213)
• The reason for the special treatment is that he is interested in Laila, and trying to take advantage of her situation in order to incorporate her into his household. He was nice to Mariam at first as well. Mariam is smart enough to realize this (perceptive).

* Mariam is very upset about Rasheed wanting to take Laila as a second wife

• Mariam: "Eighteen years, and I never asked you for a thing. Not one thing. I'm asking now. [...] I am too old. Too old for you to do this to me. For you, after all these years, to make me an ambagh." (215)
• He makes her feel guilty by talking about all of the horrible things that would happen to Laila if she were to just leave, implying that it would be Mariam's fault if such things did happen. He completely disregards her wishes, and basically tells her that he will take her as second wife whether Mariam likes it or not.
• Rasheed: "I knew you wouldn't take this well. I don't really blame you. But this is for the best. You'll see. Think of it this way, Mariam. I am giving you help around the house and her a sanctuary. A home and a husband. [...] In fact, this is...Well, I'd say this is downright charitable of me. The way I see it, I deserve a medal." (216)
• Rasheed is narcissitic and manipulative.

* Laila accepts Rasheed's "proposal," and the following day her brings her a ring that he bought with money that he received from trading in Mariam's wedding ring. (disrespectful)

• One of the main reasons for her acceptance is that she realizes she is pregnant with Tariq's child. --> If she accepts the proposal, Rasheed will be seen as the father and there will be less shame and less difficulties for her and her future child.
• She has no feelings for him, and is actually disgusted by Rasheed.
• Laila is resourceful and does what she feels is the best option for her and her child. Willing to put her child's happiness and well being before her own. There is now no reason for her to leave either now everyone she was ever close to has died.
• "She knew what she was doing was dishonorable. Dishonorable, disingenuous, and shameful. And spectacularly unfair to Mariam. But even though the baby inside her was no bigger than a mulberry, Laila already saw the sacrifices a mother had to make. Virtue was only the first." (219)
• She is only 14 --> very difficult decision for any woman to make, much less someone that age. She is courageous and strong willed.
• She goes so far as to cut herself after consummating the marriage in order to maintain the authenticity of her virginity. (intelligent an thorough)

* Mariam and Laila kind of avoid one another. There is an awkward tension between the two.

* Rasheed disrespects and belittles Mariam while putting Laila on a platform. He calls her a harami as well and pushes where he know it hurts her the most. Does not help the tension between the two women, and makes Mariam even angrier.

• Also tells Laila to ask Mariam if she needs anything, and insures her that Mariam will do it. --> Essentially makes Mariam into more of a slave/maid. Most definitely does not treat them equally as wives.
• Tells Laila that because he values her so much, and she is so beautiful, he does not want her to leave the house without him. If absolutely needs anything, Laila is to send Mariam to get it. --> Treats her better in a way, but is also more controlling of her. Doesn't just restrict her to a burqa when she leaves the home with him, but restricts her to the house unless he is with her (like a prison).
• Rasheed puts Mariam in control of watching over Laila when he is not around, and makes it clear that she is to tell him if she does anything that he deems "bad."

* Confrontation occurs between the women over what Rasheed said about Mariam doing the bidding of Laila.

• Mariam: "I won't be your servant. I won't. You may be the palace malika and me a dehati, but I won't take orders from you. You can complain to him and he can slit my throat, but I won't do it. Do you hear me? I won't be your servant." (225)
• Mariam: "I have no use for your company. I don't want it. What I want is to be alone. You will leave me be, and I will return the favor. That's how we will get on. Those are the rules." (226)
• Despite the way Rasheed has treated her, Mariam still has self respect and is strong willed and somewhat hard headed. Although she cannot really stand up to Rasheed and enforce her will, she can stand up to another woman (an equal according to society). There is a jealous there, and she feels spiteful towards Laila. Her hate is apparent.
• Laila makes it obvious that she does not expect Mariam to be her servant, and that she feels bad about everything. She also thanks Mariam for taking care of her when she was hurt. She is noticeably hurt by what Mariam says to her, but obeys her orders.

* Laila feels very lonely and reminisces a lot about her past and happy times. The hostility that Mariam shows bothers her as well. She is unhappy, but pushes through.

• Like Mariam used to, Laila finds he burqa and the privacy it provides comforting in a way. However, it is not because she feels threatened by men and their stares. It is because she feels like she can hide the shame she feels for being in the situation she is in (her life) behind the burqa. If she sees anyone she used to know, she doesn't have to worry about them seeing her and the way in which a girl with such potential has become such a failure. (232)
• Mariam felt the burqa was a way to hide her shame from the world as well. They have more in common than Mariam would like to admit.

* Laila and Mariam have their 1st actual fight --> "Laila was still shocked at how easily she's come unhinged, but, the truth was, part of her had liked it, had liked how it felt to scream at Mariam, to curse her, to have a target at which to focus all her simmering anger, her grief. Laila wondered, with something like insight, if it wasn't the same for Mariam." (234)

• They are both miserable, and neither have outlets for their misery. Neither have a comrade to talk to about their troubles or ways in which to escape them (either momentarily or totally).

* Laila's baby (the father of which is really Tariq, although Rasheed is the supposed father) is born and it is a girl. Rasheed is, again, very angry that it is not a boy.

• He refuses to call the child by her name (Aziza), and calls it either "the baby" or "that thing". Rasheed complains about the child all of the time, and he and Laila argue a lot. He appeals to Mariam and ask for her help, which she does not give.

* Mariam's feelings for Laila begin to change

• "The strange thing was, that the girl's fall from grace ought to have pleased Mariam, brought her a sense of vindication. But it didn't. It didn't. To her surprise, Mariam found herself pitying the girl." (239)
• She can relate to the girl, and understands how it feels. Again, they have quite a bit in common.

* When Laila refuses to have sex with Rasheed, he goes after Mariam with his belt.

• "Over the years, Mariam had learned to harden herself against his scorn and reproach, his ridiculing and reprimanding. But this fear she had no control over. All these years and still she shivered with fright when he was like this, sneering, tightening the belt around his fist, the creaking of leather, the glint in his bloodshot eyes. It was the fear of the goat, released in the tiger's cage, when the tiger first looks up from its paws, begins to growl." (240)
• Laila grabs Rasheed to try to stop him when he goes to hit Mariam. She defends Mariam...for the first time. It marks a change in their relationship (Mariam and Laila)

* Laila's love for Aziza is what allows her to go on in life. She loves her daughter more than anything, and the fact that she is in part the product of Tariq (her true love) makes her love even stronger. She is very matronly, and takes very good care of the infant.

* Laila had been stealing a single bill from Rasheed's wallet once every week since Aziza was born. She is planning on running away in the spring, and is trying to save a thousand or more afghanis before she leaves. (247)

• She is strong willed, determined and courageous. She will not sit there idly and allow herself to be treated the way that Rasheed treats her, so she does something about it. Something that Mariam never did, probably due to the fear that she had for him and the outside world.

* Mariam gives Laila the baby cloths originally intended for her baby before she died (1st real act of kindness on Mariam's part)

• Shows the beginning of a developing bond between the two women.
• The gift spurs a conversation between the two --> Mariam basically thanks Laila for standing up for her when Rasheed came to beat her, and Laila compliments Mariam and subtly offers her friendship and a kind of truce (249) --> IMPORTANT EVENT < --
• "And for the first time, it was not and adversary's face Laila saw but a face of grievance unspoken, burdens gone unprotested, a destiny submitted to and endured." (249)
• "A look passed between them. And unguarded, knowing look. And in this fleeting, wordless exchange with Mariam, Laila knew that they were not enemies any longer." (250)
• From then on they do their chores together and are friends

* Mariam kind of becomes a joint mother/aunt to Aziza.

• "Mariam had never before been wanted like this. Love had never been declared to her so guilelessly, so unreservedly. Aziza made Mariam want to weep." (252)
• Her and Laila have opened a part in Mariam's heart that has been closed for so long, she didn't realize it was there. She becomes much happier with the companionship and the presence of the child in the house.
• "Her heart took flight. And she marveled at how, after all these years of rattling loose, she had found in this little creature the first true connection in her life of false, failed connections." (252)

* Dostum switched allegiance in Jan of 1994, and the fighting and danger increased substantially. Fear ruled the streets, and rape became common. Women were said to kill themlves out of fear of getting raped, and men killed wives who had been raped in the name of honor. (253)

• Rasheed barircades the house, and it becomes even more of a prison then before.

* Mariam tells Laila her life story, and in turn Laila tells her the truth about Aziza's father (Tariq) and her plan to escape from the grasp of Rasheed.

• "She had passed these years in a distant corner of her mind. A dry, barren field, out beyond wish and lament, beyond dream and disillusionment. There, the future did not matter. And the past held only this wisdom: that love was a damaging mistake, and its accomplice, hope, a treacherous illusion. And whenever those twin poisonous flowers began to sprout in the parched land of that field, Mariam uprooted them. She uprooted them and ditched them before they took hold. But somehow, over these last months, Laila and Aziza--a harami like herself, as it turned out--had become extensions of her, and now, without them, the life that Mariam had tolerated for so long suddenly seemed intolerable." (256)
• Before, she basically shut her mind of to the world around her and resigned herself to simply going through the motions until death eventually came. Mariam has been awakened to life and happiness, and is no longer content living such a dismal life. For the first time in a long time, she feels hope.

Observations/Overview:

A lot happens in the house of Rasheed in this section, and the atmosphere of the house transforms significantly. It becomes more obvious how little consideration Rasheed has for Mariam and their relationship when he basically tells her that he is taking Laila on as a second wife. He completely disregards her feelings regarding the matter, which is not surprising considering that is what he does in pretty much every other situation as well. The incorporation of Laila into the family is problematic in a number of ways for Mariam. For one, it is shameful. Not necessarily according to society, but it implies that she is not good enough for her husband, and therefore he needs someone else who is better. Any woman, or person for that matter, would feel unappreciated and insignificant in such a situation. This becomes exaggerated by the dichotomy between how Rasheed treats Laila and how he treats Mariam. He continuously puts Mariam down and insults her while treating Laila like a queen. Mariam is basically ordered to act as Laila's servant. Fortunately Laila is not the type of person who would take advantage of Rasheed's offer. Mariam is obviously very angry about the incorporation of the young girl into the family, but she feels she cannot do anything about it. As such, she essentially tries to avoid Laila and exert what little power she has in the house. Mariam does this by setting rules regarding what she will do and what Laila will do around the house. In the beginning of the section, Mariam becomes more and more bitter and angrier. She is very mean to Laila, even though she really had no control over her fate either. For the first time, she has an outlet for her anger and she takes advantage of it by berating Laila and being hurtful. Laila takes it quite well, although she most definitely feels lonely, hurt and depressed in the environment of the house. She feels bad for Mariam and for imposing on her life by accepting Rasheed's hand in marriage. However, she was looking out for the life of her child when she made the decision, and it is the most important thing in her life. Laila has literally lost every person that she has ever loved, so she really has no other reason to leave either. Rasheed has provided her with an opportunity to live in a home and to escape the streets. So, her decision is in many ways the best for herself as well, or it can at least be seen that way. Before her child is born, Laila is very unhappy and feels shame in the situation that she has landed in. Her father told her that she could be anything and that she has all the potential in the world, and she has become the second wife of an old and abusive man. Although Mariam is imprisoned in the house, Laila is held under an even stronger form of oppression due to her beauty and youth. The is made worse by the fact that before the death of her parents she was essentially free to do what she wanted, and Rasheed restricts her to the house and a burqa when she is with him. Laila is still young, and she has a strong soul that has not yet been beat down by Rasheed. She tries to look at the positive rather than the negative. She is an intelligent, resourceful, strong and hard headed young woman. After the birth of Aziza, Laila is transformed. She becomes much happier and focuses the majority of her attention on her child. She worries a lot and takes extra caution to ensure that nothing happens to her baby, her only connection to the past and Tariq. Despite Rasheed's distaste for the female child, Laila is happy. She stands up to Rasheed, something that Mariam really could never do, and makes sure that she gets everything she feels she needs for her child. The addition of the child does not bring happiness to Mariams life at first. In fact, it only serves t make her more envious of Laila.

The atmosphere in the house goes through huge change once again after Laila attempts to defend Mariam from Rasheed's violent advances. Never before has Mariam had another person attempt to stand up for her, and it touches her. This is the begining of a new relationship between Mariam and Laila. As a token of appreciation, Mariam presents Laila with the female baby clothes that she had sewed for her own child before its death. The two women quickly become close and join forces in the house. They laugh and work together. Aziza quickly becomes incorporated into Mariam's life, and the addition of the two opens Mariam to new emotions. For the first time in a long time, she remembers how it feels to love and be loved in return. Her heart opens, and the bitterness that she once felt towards Laila is replaced by a feeling of companionship. They use each other to get through the hardships that they must face in Rasheed's home and under his rule. Mariam gains strength and resolve with the help of Laila. It also becomes very clear just how little confidence she Mariam has. At one point, she says to Aziza, "Why have you pinned your little heart to an old, ugly hag like me? Huh? I am nobody, don't you see? A dehati. What have I got to give you (252)." Never before has Mariam been in an environment that has allowed her to develop self confidence. Her mother tore her down as a child, she was unwanted and sent away by her father, and Rasheed continued to devalue her throughout their marriage. This could in part explain her lack of resolve when it comes to sticking up for herself in the past. Laila, however, grew up in an environment that encouraged her to develop her mind and her father consistently reminded her of her value as a person and member of the female sex.

Despite the difference in their upbringings, Laila and Mariam have a lot in common. Both are brought to Rasheed in terrible circumstances after the death of their family. Both women feel guilt and blame themselves for the death of the members of their family. Both feel shame about the situation that they have landed in, and both find comfort in the burqa's ability to hide them from the outside world and others. Neither Mariam nor Laila have any sort of feelings for Rasheed, and both are extremely unhappy under his rule. Both tend to search within themselves to find a form of happiness or a safe place removed from the reality in which they live. Although Mariam has essentially given up hope of finding happiness, she used to be much more positive. Mariam was much more like Laila at her age (14), but circumstances have hardened her and stolen her hope. Because of these similarities, they are able to relate to one another and understand one another better than many women would be able to. The culminating point in the development of their newly founded relationship occurs when Mariam tells Laila her life story (something she has never done with anyone before), and in return Laila tells Mariam about her intentions to leave Rasheed and Kabul and the secret regarding the origins of Aziza.

A Thousand Splendid Suns (pg.153-199)

Notes:

* Note: It is now January 1989 (3 months before Laila's 11th birthday)

• The last of the Soviet soldiers are exiting Afghanistan (however, Najibullah is known for his allegiance to the Soviets, so they will continue to exert some power at least through him)

* Laila is beginning to have feelings beyond those of friendship for Tariq. During a kissing scene in a movie, both seem to feel a somewhat uncomfortable attraction to one another. They are approaching their teens, and are just beginning to see members of the opposite sex in another light. (157)

* Note: 3 more years pass (April 1992)

* Tariq's father has suffered a series of strokes, which have resulted in reduced mobility of his left hand and a slight slur.

* Laila's friend Hasina was married away to her cousin in a different town. He proceeded to arrange plans to move to Germany right away.

* Collapse of the Soviet Union and formation of the Republic of Russia. Najibullah attempts to cut ties with Soviets as well and appear a devout Muslim, but he had already lost the respect and trust of his country.

• April 1992 Najibullah surrenders power and flees to the UN. The Mujahideen regain control over Afghanistan.

* With the collapse of the Soviets and Najibullah's surrender, Fariba became alive again. She shed her black clothing for the first time since the death of her sons and did the household chores. She plans to throw a party immediately.

• For the first time it seems, she notices and takes interest in her daughter as well. Fariba comments on the fact that Laila is now plucking her eyebrows and even asks about Tariq. Before such a thing never would have happened.
• Warns Laila that she is getting older, and as such people may start talking about her and Tariq in a negative way. Fariba: "He's a boy, you see, and, as such, what does he care about reputation? But you? The reputation of a girl, especially one as pretty as you, is a delicate thing, Laila." (162)
• Double standard: A male can do whatever and his reputation essentially remains intact. However, a woman must be very careful or she will be stuck with a bad reputation, and will therefore be undesirable.
• It bothers Laila that Mammy says something after not paying any attention to her for years. She feels as if her mother has no right to interfere in her life.

* Laila has noticed the difference in how people in public react when they see her and Tariq in public now.

• "For some time now, Laila had begun to sense a new strangeness when the two of them were out in public. An awareness of being looked at, scrutinized, whispered about, that Laila had never felt before. [...] Mommy had a point. More than she knew, in fact. Laila suspected that some, if not most, of the neighbors were already gossiping about her and Tariq." (163)

* Laila's feelings have continued to grow for Tariq, and hormones have begun to kick in. Their friendship now has another element, although they have not done anything sexual and have not admitted it to one another.

• "She had fallen for Tariq. Hopelessly and desperately. When he was near, she couldn't help but be consumed with the most scandalous thoughts, of his lean, bare body entangled with hers. [...] When she thought of him this way, she was overtaken with guilt, but also with a peculiar, warm sensation that spread upward from her belly until it felt as if her face were glowing pink." (163)
• However, she is not open about it and makes an effort to hide her feelings for him in front of friends and family. Women should not chase men or be openly enamored with them. It is part of the modesty expected of Muslim women.

* Laila's friend Giti has fallen for a boy as well. They have met twice (secretly of course because it would be considered inappropriate if people knew), and he is supposed to ask for her hand. She is 16, and ready to get married. When Laila asks her about school, she is obviously unconcerned about it.

* At the party, the women are all in the kitchen preparing the food and the men are outside in the yard discussing politics and playing games. Men are not allowed in the house during preparations, and it becomes apparent that Tariq is now considered a man because the women shoe him out when he comes to pick at the food. Children are inside with the women.

• "He stood almost a foot taller than Laila now. He shaved. His face was leaner, more angular. His shoulders had broadened." (167) --> They are growing up
• Men take their share of food first, and then women and children are allowed to take what they want. They eat separately.

* Political unrest again takes a firm grasp on the country as the Mujahideen's find enemies amongst themselves and let bullets fly. Kabul essentially becomes a war zone. (Fariba shuts herself in her room once more).

• Bombing of the city begins. The only reprise is during the 5 daily prayers, when the men would lower their weapons and tend to their duty as Muslims. Massoud's soldiers line the streets in their tanks and with their loaded guns. Innocent civilians are used for target practice and to take revenge against other peoples (Pashtuns vs Hazaras).
• Fear overcomes the city, including Laila. Fear of their own death, of that of their loved ones. Fear of the unknowing future. People stay in their house unless it is essential to leave.
• Women are raped, tortured and slaughtered in their homes.
• Laila forced to drop out of school due to the danger in the streets. However, Babi begins to home school her and attend to her studies.

* Tariq and Laila kiss (their 1st outward display of their real feelings for one another).

* Fariba refuses to leave her home country despite the extreme violence and Babi's pleas.

* Laila's friend Giti and two other girls are hit by a rocket while walking down the street and are killed.

* Tariq tells Laila that his family has decided to leave Afghanistan (the day before they go), and that he is leaving as well. She is devestated.

• Everyone is leaving, and the neighborhood homes are now filled with militia and other families that have taken over the abandoned houses.
• They have sex for the first, and only, time after he tells her. In the heat of the moment after she is screaming at him for going.
• She is no longer a virgin, and therefore not considered suitable for marriage (especially to anyone of high status).
• He asks her to come with him, and tells her that he wants to marry her, but she cannot leave her father. Her obligation and love for Babi is too strong, and she cannot leave him alone despite her love for Tariq (not selfish, cares more about her father's happiness and well being than her own).

* Laila feels conflicted about having had sex with Tariq

• "Inside Laila too a battle was being waged: guilt on one side, partnered with shame, and, on the other, the conviction that what she and Tariq had done was not sinful; that it had been natural, good, beautiful, even inevitable, spurred by knowledge that they might never see each other again." (187)
• She should not have done it, according to her religion and society, yet she loves him and it felt right.

* Laila's mother finally conceded to leave Afghanistan, and they decided to go to Pakistan first. Laila hopes to find Tariq, since that is where his family went.

• It took Laila almost getting struck in the head by a bullet in her own yard to convince Fariba.

* The day that they are moving everything out of the house, it is hit by a rocket/missile and both of Laila's parents are killed. She is the only survivor. Laila falls in and out of consciousness in the hospital, and doesn't really know what has happened yet.

Observations/Overview:

Afghanistan goes from war with the Soviets to a civil war. Times are unstable, and Kabul has become a central war zone. What looked so promising turns into a nightmare. Everyone is a victim of the situation, including Laila and her family. If she was not fully forced into adulthood by having to take over the domestic responsibilities of the house, she has been now. Not only does she have to deal with the loss of her close friend, the man she loves leaves and both of her parents are killed. Although the way she handles her parent's deaths hasn't been revealed yet, it cannot be well. She is left essentially alone in the world.

Laila's character is becoming more developed as the story goes on. She is growing up, and is going through many of the things that all young adults and teenagers go through. She feels interest along with confusion about love and sex. Laila ends up having sex outside of marriage, which would be considered a huge sin by the Islamic religion. This shows that she is somewhat unorthodox, although she does feel guilt afterwards. She is a strong and caring woman. This can be seen in her refusal to leave her father behind when Tariq asks her to go with him. Even though he offers her everything she has ever dreamed of, she puts her father's well being and happiness above her own. This could be seen as characteristic of traditional values as well, however, because women hold a responsibility to their fathers and the men in their lives. They are expected to put the male before themselves. However, it is obvious that the bond between Laila and Babi goes way beyond obligation. Along with growing up, Laila becomes exposed to social values and how she is expected to act and behave. She does continue to see Tariq, but it becomes more and more private. They can no longer walk around freely in public because it is seen as immoral. She has to face gossip and rumors regarding their relationship. Laila has also become one of the neighborhood women, and as such is expected to help out with the cooking and to separate herself from the men. She is expected to act with modesty and to subdue her sexual desires and thoughts. Laila takes this role on well is some respects, and poorly in others. She should not be kissing Tariq, and if they want to continue to have a relationship they should get married according to tradition. She has absolutely learned the skills that she will need to make a suitable wife. The loss of her virginity poses a big problem when it comes to marriage. Most men will not take a woman that is not a virgin. She is seen as dirtied, shamed, and unsuitable for marriage.

Fariba is an interesting character. For a short time she sheds her shell of depression and takes on her role as the woman of the house. Her demeanor changes completely, and it is as if she is a completely different person. Fariba is obviously very prone to depression, and her mood can change quickly and drastically. At times, it seems as if she could have bi-polar disorder due to her extreme bouts of depression and then occasional periods of euphoria. While she is happy she is the loving wife and mother, and while she is sad she is more or less dead to the world. Either way, she does not play the role of a traditional Muslim woman. Although women are often considered to be prone to emotion, they also are expected to continue to take care of the home no matter what the circumstances. They are supposed to take care of their husbands, which she obviously does not do. She is however, aware of the social expectations of women, and shows concern for her daughter's reputation (for the first time in the novel).

A Thousand Splendid Suns (pg.107-153)

Characters:

1. Laila: 9 years old (now 1987), blond hair, turquoise green eyes, dimpled cheeks, high cheek bones (108), very beautiful/pretty, lives in Kabul
2. Tariq: Laila's best friend, has a prosthetic leg (stepped on a land mine when he was 5), lives in Kabul
3. Hakim ("Babi"): Laila's father, small man, slim, delicate, submissive, always reading/studying, well informed/educated and intelligent, very close with Laila, caring, university educated, works in a bread factory
4. Fariba: Hakim's wife and Laila's mother, somewhat "masculine" in that she runs the house, angry a lot, not motherly in the traditional sense, proposed to Hakim (not the other way around), depressed (often lays in bed w/the lights off all day and neglects her duties)
5. Khadim: 11 years old, tall/thick/has under bite, father is a butcher, bully

Vocab:

1. harami (110): bastard
2. Inqilabi Girl (112): Revolutionary Girl (Shanzai's nickname for Laila because she was born on the night of the coup in 1978)
3. Inquilab (112): revolution
4. Jihad (112): war
5. Aroos (128): daughter-in-law (what Tariq's family calls Laila, even though techninally they are still just friends)
6. Namaz (142): 5 daily prayers that Muslims are supposed to do according to Islamic tradition
/beliefs
7. Shaheed (142): martyrs


Notes:

*Laila's parents fight a lot, and he mother is the aggressive and dominating one, while her father is the sheepish submissive type (opposite of traditional Muslim roles)

• "But if Laila needed the lid of a candy jar forced open, she had to go to Mammy, which felt like betrayal." (109)
• Reversed gender roles that even a 9 year old girl notices (women should be the dainty ones that need help, not the head of the household) He cannot fix things like men should be able to do.

* Hakim and his family live across the street from Rasheed and Mariam

* Hakim and Fariba have two sons, Ahmad and Noor, who have gone to war (Fariba blames Hakim for allowing them to go and for allowing them to put themselves in such danger)

* Laila has a female teacher in school that is very non-traditional named Shanzai

• "On the first day of school, she had proudly told the class that she was the daughter of a poor peasant from Khost. [...] She did not cover and forbade the female students from doing it. She said women and men were equal in every way and there was no reason women should cover if men didn't." (111)
• Such talk could almost be considered heretical, and is most definitely very unorthodox. Traditionally, Islamic women were, and in many places still are, expected to cover, and to not do so was seen as disrespectful and immodest. She would have most definitely be seen as very radical and most likely would have angered many parents, especially males. Women are supposed to be submissive and do as they are told, not do whatever they please, especially when it comes to breaking tradition
• She is also very supportive of the Soviets --> She is a revolutionary and tells the children to tell on any person they know to be a rebel, even it is their parents, out of the good for the country

* The children talk, jokingly, about ways to fend of unattractive suitors on the way back from school

• Even though the talk is in good fun, the idea of a suiter is on a woman's mind from a young age, and they know full well that it is very possible that they will be given to a man much older than themselves

* Babi is insistent that Laila gets a good education --> He "had made it clear to Laila from a young age that the most important thing in his life, after her safety, was her schooling." (114)

• Babi: "I want you to understand this and learn this now. Marriage can wait, education cannot. [...] You can be anything you want, Laila. I know this about you. And I also know that when this war is over, Afghanistan is going to need you as much as its men, maybe even more. Because a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated, Laila. No chance." (114)
• Not typical for a woman. Their formal education often takes second place to domestic education. Their role as a wife is often considered more important than their education. Even less typical for a father to push for the education of his daughter, at the same time he theoretically would have more power over her actual continuation of education than the mother.
• Babi holds a unique and somewhat revolutionary idea about women and what they are able to achieve. In a time where very few women worked outside of the house, he tells Laila she can be anything she wants to be. Not traditional at all.

* Khadim sprays Laila with urine (bully, disrespectful) --> her blonde hair sets her apart and leads to further bullying than she would otherwise have to deal with

* Whenever the women are all together, talk turns to matchmaking and setting up the different children of the neighborhood . (121)

* The war/jihad between the Soviets and the resistance is huge, bloody, and there is a lot of propaganda. The US (Reagan) is against the Soviets and helping the resistance by supplying them with missiles and shooting down the Soviet helicopters. Muslims from all over the world have joined the cause against the Soviets, and it is being said that they are close to losing the war now.

* Laila feels more at ease and at home in Tariq's home than her own. His family is welcoming, they act like a family (unlike her own), and it feels effortless and natural to her. Despite the fact that her family is Tajik and theirs is Pashtun (huge rivalry/conflict between the two groups in Afghanistan).

* Laila begins to see the dichotomy between female friends and friends of the opposite sexes. When Laila tells Tariq that she misses him, his reaction is much different than it is when she tells her girlfriends the same thing (not as acceptable).

• "In Tariq's grimace, Laila learned that boys differed from girls in this regard. They didn't make a show of friendship. They felt no urge, no need, for this sort of talk. [...] Boys, Laila came to see, treated friendship the way they treated the sun: its existence undisputed; its radiance best enjoyed, not beheld directly." (133)
• There are different expectations regarding the way in which men and women express their feelings and handle themselves. Society's expectations for the different genders.

* Tariq beats Khadim with his prosthetic leg when he finds out that Khadim had sprayed Laila with urine. (He is protective of her)

* The Soviets sponsored literacy classes for women and promoted the education of women. (One of the few things that Babi approved of when it came to the Soviets) Also promoted more freedom for Afgani women and gave them more rights. (135)

* Description of women's roles in tribal areas (135-136): women always wear burqas and rarely go out, forced marriage, women can be married off at very young ages, very little education for women, very traditional

* A man comes to Laila's house and informs the family that their sons had been killed in action. Mammy (Fariba), blames her husband for their deaths.

* Women of the neighborhood take on the role of consoling the family when a member dies (it is their duty, and they take it seriously). They do the cooking and essentially take care of the family for a short period of time.

* Fariba becomes extremely depressed and eternally sick, although doctors can find nothing physically wrong with her. The only thing she didn't "neglect" in her life were her 5 daily prayers.

• Laila takes on all of the household responsibilities even though she is so young
• It is as if Fariba does not care about Laila at all, and she becomes only a receptacle for Fariba's stories about her two brothers (she feels neglected and ignored).
• Fariba: "Some days, I listen to that clock ticking in the hallway. Then I think of all the ticks, all the minutes, and the hours and days and weeks and months and years waiting for me. All of it without them. And I can't breathe then, like someone's stepping on my heart, Laila. I get so weak. So weak I just want to collapse somewhere." (143)
• "She would never leave her mark on Mammy's heart the way her brothers had, because Mammy's heart was like a pallid beach where Laila's footprints would forever wash away beneath the waves of sorrow that swelled and crashed, swelled and crashed." (144)

* Babi talks about his dream of going to America and starting over. He feels a huge amount of pain over the loss of the boys a well, and says sometimes he feels as if Laila is all he has left in the world. Unlike her mother, Babi openly expresses how much he loves her and how he wants the best for her and his family.

* Treaty signed in Geneva saying that the Soviets would remove themselves from Afghanistan within 9 months. (April 1988)

Observations/Overview:

A number of new female characters were introduced during this section, which actually told the story of a family living close to Mariam and her husband, but who has few ties with them. Laila is a young child, however, due to the circumstances in which she has grown up she is mature for her age. She has been forced to take on a role in the house that would generally not be given to such a young child. She holds a very close relationship with her father, much more so than with her mother, which is somewhat uncommon in a Muslim household. She is bright and has been told from a young age that she has the potential to do anything that she wants. Her father emphasizes the importance of her education and insists that she continues on to University. Her upbringing has in many ways been different than that of other female children. She is no required to cover despite her blonde hair and light eyes. Laila, for the most part, relies on nobody other than her best friend Tariq. She feels hurt by her mother's absence in her life. Although she is physically there, her mother has chosen to distance herself from the rest of the family and is solely concerned with her two sons. After their death, she neglects all remaining responsibility and basically barricades herself in her room.

We are presented with a couple of different portrayals of women in this section. Laila's mother, Fariba, is actually somewhat similar to Mariam's mother. Although their situations are very different, both women are extremely unhappy and rather bitter. Laila's mother does not abuse her, although Fariba does verbally abuse her husband. Both women are extremely prone to depression and overrun by their emotions. This leads Mariam's mother to take her own life. Although Laila's mother says she would not go to such an extreme, it is not because she feels a duty and love for her living family. She holds on because she wants to justify the death of her sons and to see that what they died for is carried out. Even so, her life is so deteriorated that although she continues to breathe, she really loses all touch with the world and her family.

Laila is much different than her mother. She is unhappy at times, but grateful for what she has. She is in the process of learning how the world works and what is, and is not, socially acceptable. There is little that she desires more than the attention and approval of her mother, yet it does not come. However, her father and she maintain a very close relationship. In many ways, she has the upbringing of a male child. Her best friend, who she essentially does everything with, is a male. Her father has raised her to value things more often associated with males than females as well. However, she is capable of doing domestic work in the house and almost completely replaces her mother in that respect. She is strong, yet she relies on Tariq to a degree to protect her. He has readily taken on the role as her protector despite the fact he only has one leg. Their relationship is technically a friendship, yet she is more like part of their family. She feel comfortable with his family, in fact, she feels more comfortable in his home than her own. When he leaves for a month, she feels almost lost. The connection between them is obviously very strong, and the possibility of them getting married someday seems very likely. She does have a few girlfriends, and does discuss "feminine" topics with them, such as prospective husbands. However, where her friends expect to marry young, she is more concerned with education. Her priorities are different than many of her female friends.

Laila's teacher Shanzai also plays an interesting, although small, role in the book. She most definitely has not taken on the role of the typical/traditional female Muslim. She works as a teacher, rather than in the home. She is proud of her heritage, despite the fact that she comes from a very poor background. She also promotes the education of women, but most radically claims that women and men are equal. Shanzai does not allow the female students to cover their hair in the classroom, which is interesting considering many men will not allow their daughters or wives to leave the home without at least a veil. She is not submissive at all, and is quite opinionated. Despite such strong and controversial ideas, her character is not portrayed negatively at all. In fact, she seems to be portrayed in a positive light.

I believe it is important to note that not only female characters take on unconventional roles, but Babi most definitely does as well. He is progressive and absolutely not your typical Muslim male figure. He and Rasheed differ drastically. In fact, they are essentially the polar opposites. Although Babi is portrayed to have more "feminine" characteristics, such as submissivity and docility, he is portrayed in a much better light. He is caring and understanding and defends the importance of women within a society.

A Thousand Splendid Suns (pg.51-104)

Characters:

1. Rasheed: Mariam's newly arranged husband, lives in Kabul (650 km from her home), shoemaker, widower (son and wife both died), Pashtun, speaks Farsi as well as Pashto, much older than Mariam, tall, thick-bellied, abusive (especially as the relationship goes on), oppressive, traditional in some respects and not in others

Vocab:

1. hijab (51): a scarf worn by women that covers their hair
2. nikka (52): wedding
3. fahmidi (65): wife
4. burqa (70): a large veil worn by some Muslim women that completely covers their faces and bodies from view (full covering)
5. nang (70): honor
6. namoos (70): pride

Notes:

* women expected to wear a hijab when in public spaces or around men that aren't part of their family

* brides' faces are completely veiled for wedding

• Mariam in her wedding, Rasheed was not allowed to enter the room until she was properly veiled

* many traditional aspects of the wedding were overlooked so as to make it a fast wedding, normally weddings are huge and elaborate (shows lack of respect and care for Mariam)

• interesting --> woman must be asked 3 times if she will accept the man as her husband (man should be seen as seeking the woman, not the other way around) (52)

* Mariam: "I used to warship you. [...] On Thursdays, I sat for hours waiting for you. I worried myself sick that you wouldn't show up. [...] I thought about you all the time. I used to pray that you'd live to be a hundred years old. I didn't know. I didn't know you were ashamed of me." Jalil: "I'll visit you. I'll come to Kabul and see you. We'll..." Mariam: "No. No. Don't come. I won't see you. Don't come. I don't want to hear from you. Ever. Ever. It ends here for you and me. Say your good-byes." (54)

• Mariam stands up to her father in the only way that she could, shows strength and bravery in her character, especially at such a young age. She knows that what has been done to her is immoral and not ok, and she makes it clear. Shows a level of rebelliousness as well because a "good" Muslim woman would not have said anything despite the unfairness of the situation.

* "That's one thing I can't stand," he said, scowling, "the sound of a woman crying. I'm sorry. I have no patience for it." (59)

• Shows a lack of compassion and empathy. Mariam has just been given to this man, has been brought to an unfamiliar house in a unfamiliar town, and is now expected to do the duties of a wife. Of course she is going to be upset and cry. He is rude, unkind, and unsympathetic towards her.

* Mariam feels uncomfortable, "strangled" by all the space (59), like "an intruder in someone else's life" (63), depressed, lost, lonely, homesick, terrified of having to have sex with Rasheed

• even though she has an "easier" life in the new home (never was hungry, much bigger house, etc), she misses the kolba and Nana

* Rasheed sits with her every night and tells her gossip, work and superstitions about shoes. He tries to have conversations with her, but she just sits quietly in fear.

• "Rasheed believed none of this. In his opinion, superstitions were largely a female preoccupation." (64)

* Mariam now expected to do all the housework and to take care of Rasheed (cooking, cleaning)

* Women going to the public oven always complaining about the way their husbands treat them, their husbands' bad habits, and their workload (66)

• They all swarm Mariam first time she goes to the oven. Asking her endless questions. --> curiosity of women
• Mariam is scared out of her mind. Although the women are friendly, she doesn't know how to deal with all the questions, people and attention. She is young and in need of guidance.

* Mariam is extremely concerned with impressing Rasheed with her cooking and cleaning, and is disappointed when he doesn't even mention her efforts around the house. She feels pride when he compliments her meal. (a woman's need to please and serve her husband)

* Rasheed buys her a burqa and expects her to wear it (modesty) whenever she leaves the house

• Rasheed berates the men who come to his shop for allowing their wives to wear western clothing, makeup and for allowing him to touch their bare feet. He even berates men who just make their wives wear the hijab, and thinks all women should be covered.
• Rasheed: "It embarrasses me, frankly, to see a man who's lost control over his wife" (70)
• Raseheed: "But I'm a different breed of a man, Mariam. [...] Where I come from, a woman's face is her husband's business only." (70)
• "The earlier pleasure over his approval of her cooking had evaporated. In its stead, a sensation of shrinking. This man's will felt to Mariamas imposing and immovable as the Safid-koh mountains..." (70) --> she feel belittled and confined, controlled and oppressed by men
• actually somewhat comforting for her, allows her to hide from the views and scrutiny of others

* Mariam is not introduced to Rasheed's friends and acquaintances when they go out together, she is to stand in the background and remain quiet

* The thing that caught Mariam's attention most when on the walk was the women in the wealthier more "modern" areas. Many do not wear any sort of covering, wear makeup and nail polish, wear skirts, smoke cigarettes and walk along with their husbands and children in public (sometimes alone as well though)

• Mariam is fascinated by this because it is so foreign to her. She comes from a much more conservative area, and she is mystified by the freedom of these women
• "They made her aware of her own lowliness, her plain looks, her lack of aspirations, her ignorance of so many things." (75)

* Mariam and Rasheed have sex for the first time, despite her objection. He does not listen to her and continues on (she doesn't fight it). She is in pain, but remains quiet.

*Mariam is required to stay in her room out of sight while Rasheed has friends over to drink tea for Ramadan

• "Mariam didn't mind. In truth, she was even flattered. Rasheed saw sanctity in what they had together. Her honor, her namoos, was something worth guarding to him. She felt prized by his protectiveness. Treasured and significant." (81)
• Very stereotypical reaction from a Muslim woman, would not be the same in the west. Many people would consider it oppression, not protection. This is how Muslim women are expected and supposed to react/think.

* Mariam comes across porn magazines in Rasheed's drawer and is horrified. "She felt drugged. Who were these women? How could they allow themselves to be photographed this way? Her stomach revolted with distaste. [...] Had she been a disappointment to him in this regard? And what about all his talk of honor and propriety, his disapproval of the female customer...?" (83)

• Shows she still is somewhat innocent and oblivious to certain ways of the world. She also begins to see the hypocrisy in the way her husband treats her and how he views women.
• Shortly afterwards she formulates an excuse for his actions. "He was a man. [...] Could she fault him for being the way God had created him?" (83) However, she would never dream of doing the same. --> Double standard

* Mariam is pregnant, and Rasheed is convinced that it will be a boy --> he starts thinking about male names (and tells her if it is a girl, she can name her whatever she wants), he buys a young boy's jacket, always refers to "it" as a boy and tells her it WILL be a boy --> he doesn't want a girl

* Mariam is extremely excited about the pregnancy. "And here she was now, [...] with a home of her own, a husband of her own, heading toward one final, cherished province: Motherhood. How delectable it was to think of this baby, her baby, their baby. How glorious it was to know that her love for it already dwarfed anything she had ever felt as a human being, to know that there was no need any longer for pebble games." (89)

• She is growing up, and no longer a child in most ways. Her view on life, love and marriage has begun to change. Mariam feels truly happy for one of the first times, and is about to fulfill her duty as a woman to produce a child.

* She loses the baby, and all of her happiness fades away...replaced by a deep sorrow and problems with Rasheed. He treats her much worse, complains more and is always irritable.

* "It wasn't easy tolerating him talking this way to her, to bear his scorn, ridicule, his insults, his walking past her like she was nothing but a house cat. But after four years of marriage, Maram saw clearly how much a woman could tolerate when she was afraid. And Mariam was afraid. She lived in fear of his shifting moods, his volatile temperament, his insistence on steering even mundane exchanges down a confrontational path that, on occasion, he would resolve with punches, slaps, kicks, and sometimes try to make amends for with polluted apologies and sometimes not." (99)

• He is physically and verbally abusive. She deals with it because she has no other choice. Lives in fear of him and oppressed by him. It shows that she feels belittled and unhappy; however, she doesn't do anything about it.

* loses 6 more children to miscarriage

* "She could not give him his son back. In this most essential way, she had failed him --seven times she had failed him--and now she was nothing but a burden to him. She could see it in the way he looked at her, when he looked at her." (99-100)

• Mariam feels responsible for his unhappiness and feels as if the way he acts is somehow warranted.

* The rebel Fourth Armored Division seizes the airport, key city intersections, Kabul Radio, the ministries of Communication and the Interior and the Foreign Ministry building. Bloody battle. --> now called the Democratic Republic of Afghanistan

* "His powerful hands clasped her jaw. He shoved two fingers into her mouth and pried it open, then forced the cold, hard pebbles into it. Mariam struggled against him, mumbling, but he kept pushing the pebbles in, his upper lip curled in a sneer." Rasheed: "Now chew. [...] Now you know what our rice tastes like. Now you know what you've given me in this marriage. Bad food, and nothing else." "Then he was gone, leaving Mariam to spit out pebbles, blood, and the fragments of two broken molars." (104)

• He has become extremely physically and verbally abusive as well as oppressive. Fear runs her life, even when it comes to little things such as cooking. The happiness that she once felt in the marriage is now totally gone. She does what her mother had said to her before, Mariam "endures."
  

Observations/Overview:

One can grasp a better understanding of the Muslim culture and religion within this section. A number of traditions and beliefs are presented. For example, the use of the hijab or the burqa by some Muslim women. Certain traditional marriage practices are presented as well, although many are left out. Women are supposed to seem/be very modest, and this can be seen in the use of the veil to cover the bride before her soon to be husband sees her at the wedding ceremony. The fact that she must be asked 3 times if she will take the man as her husband before answering yes (so it is clear that she is being pursued and not the other way) is interesting (52). Women are clearly expected to do all of the domestic work within the house, as well as produce children, especially males, for their husbands. Some women have 8 children, and Mariam's inability to keep a child is very disheartening for her. Prayers are obviously a very important part of Islam as well. Honor and pride are considered very important, and if a woman acts in a way that is not well accepted by society, she dishonors not only herself, but her husband as well. Women are expected to remain quiet and in the background, especially when other men are around. They are expected to remain quiet, even if they are unhappy or feel mistreated. There seems to be a double standard between the way women are allowed to act and what men can, and are expected, to do. For example, Mariam makes excuses for her husband's exotic magazines, but she would never dream of wanting to look at or be with another man.

It is interesting how Rasheed is portrayed. One can tell from the introduction of his character that he will have an unfavorable personality. Words used to describe Rasheed include: big, square, ruddy faced, watery bloodshot eyes, crowded teeth; and his "nails were yellow-brown, like the inside of a rotting apple" (52). The negative imagery gives the reader an unpleasant view of him to begin with. Although he comes off as a decent man to begin with, he becomes more and more abusive as the marriage continues. Rasheed is an oppressive and patriarchal male who takes his anger out on Mariam. She does not deserve the kind of treatment she receives from him, and really has no means of defending herself.

Mariam is a very dynamic character. She begins this section (the second half of Part I) still a child, yet she quickly enters the adult world. Rather, she is forced into it by her father and his wives by an arranged marriage to a much older man shortly after her mother has commited suicide. Mariam's entire outlook and reverence of her father changes as soon as she visits his home in the city. For the first time, she confronts him and semi-publicly berates him for treating her the way he did. This shows a strength in her character not often found in women of her age. It is really the only instance thus far in which she stands up for herself. After she settles into her new life and marriage, she does a good job of taking on the role of the "good Muslim woman." She does as her husband says, wears the burqa, cooks and cleans, and does her best to please him in every way possible. She is even happy in this position, and feels loved. This happiness reaches its highest point when she finds out she is pregnant, the ultimate duty of a wife and happiness a woman strives for. Unfortunately, this happiness is dashed as she loses the baby and continues on to lose 6 more. Her spirit becomes broken, and relations between her husband become more and more strained until she begins to live her life in fear of his rage. Although some may consider her weak for not standing up for herself, it is important to remember just how abusive Rasheed is and how few rights Mariam retains as a woman in Afghanistan during the time. Even if she asked for a divorce, it would not be granted. She is basically Rasheed's property, and as such, he can do what he wants with her. Mariam is introduced to many new things while with her husband, including pornography and the openness of the "modern" and wealthy Muslims of Kabul. As she is confronted with new ideas and ways of life, her mind becomes more and more enlightened. It is also important to note that she is kept uneducated, and her only source of information comes from the gossip and that which the women discuss in the streets. She does not understand what a communist is, and Rasheed calls her stupid for her ignorance. Such ignorance can only be expected though due to her circumstances. Despite her hardships and unhappiness, Mariam continues to endure and push through. She does not break under the pressure exerted on her, and continues to try to please Rasheed in every way she can. Mariam remains spiritual, tough skinned, persistent and brave. She does what is necessary to get by and to have the least amount of pain inflicted upon her.